1 00:00:03,030 --> 00:00:06,090 You've had that silly grin on your face ever since we left the airport. Come on, 2 00:00:06,090 --> 00:00:07,090 when do I get to hear the news? 3 00:00:07,350 --> 00:00:08,650 What makes you think I have news? 4 00:00:08,930 --> 00:00:12,490 Oh, I know that look, Maggie. Either you've got some good news or you just 5 00:00:12,490 --> 00:00:15,070 Harry Krishna getting his robe caught in the baggage carousel. 6 00:00:15,870 --> 00:00:21,010 Maybe I do, maybe I don't. You love teasing me, don't you? I'm not teasing 7 00:00:22,470 --> 00:00:24,370 I know something you don't know. 8 00:00:25,630 --> 00:00:30,290 So take it the story on Senator Howard went well? Uh -huh. And you got lots of 9 00:00:30,290 --> 00:00:31,610 good material for your column. 10 00:00:32,689 --> 00:00:33,990 And? So what's new? 11 00:00:34,430 --> 00:00:37,570 Either you talk or I'm going to turn this car into oncoming traffic. 12 00:00:37,850 --> 00:00:42,910 Okay. Not only did I get a great interview for the paper, but Senator 13 00:00:42,910 --> 00:00:44,390 very impressed with me. 14 00:00:45,030 --> 00:00:47,290 There's a semi approaching Maggie. Spill it. 15 00:00:48,070 --> 00:00:49,070 The Senator? 16 00:00:49,470 --> 00:00:50,730 offered me a job. What? 17 00:00:51,170 --> 00:00:53,210 Executive Director of Media Relations. 18 00:00:53,530 --> 00:00:54,530 Oh, well, that's fantastic. 19 00:00:54,830 --> 00:00:55,830 With a great salary. 20 00:00:56,090 --> 00:00:57,130 Yeah. Yes. 21 00:00:57,650 --> 00:01:00,110 There's only one small catch. What? No parking space. 22 00:01:00,390 --> 00:01:02,210 Oh, yes, with my name on it. 23 00:01:02,450 --> 00:01:04,349 But it's in Washington, D .C. 24 00:01:04,650 --> 00:01:05,650 Ah. 25 00:01:19,370 --> 00:01:22,630 The best is ready to be. 26 00:02:09,520 --> 00:02:13,100 I can't tell you what an ego boost it was to have the senator insist I take 27 00:02:13,100 --> 00:02:15,660 job. Do you know what it's like to have someone begging at your knees? 28 00:02:15,940 --> 00:02:17,840 Well, it's just when Mike needs gas money. 29 00:02:18,480 --> 00:02:22,000 And the executive search committee has stopped looking for any other candidate. 30 00:02:22,060 --> 00:02:23,300 Honey, that's very flattering. 31 00:02:23,620 --> 00:02:26,900 I guess you really surprised him. I mean, there's not many women walk out of 32 00:02:26,900 --> 00:02:28,120 senator's office saying no. 33 00:02:28,960 --> 00:02:31,860 Would have loved to have seen the look on that craggy old geezer's face. 34 00:02:32,460 --> 00:02:34,700 Jason, Senator Howard is a woman. 35 00:02:36,110 --> 00:02:38,350 Oh, well, that explains the pearls he wore on Nightline. 36 00:02:39,330 --> 00:02:41,130 So how'd she take it when you turned her down? 37 00:02:41,450 --> 00:02:44,750 Well, actually... You did turn it down, Maggie. 38 00:02:45,290 --> 00:02:49,690 There was a no in my heart, but I'll think about it. It came out of my mouth. 39 00:02:50,250 --> 00:02:55,070 Oh, I didn't, uh... No, my family lives in New York. Come on. Oh, Jason, what 40 00:02:55,070 --> 00:02:56,190 was I supposed to say? 41 00:02:56,450 --> 00:03:00,410 Sorry, I can't help you chart the world's geopolitical future. There's a 42 00:03:00,410 --> 00:03:01,750 festival at the Piggly Wiggly. 43 00:03:02,730 --> 00:03:05,250 A simple stuff it, Senator, would suffice. 44 00:03:05,490 --> 00:03:06,490 Oh, really? 45 00:03:06,570 --> 00:03:09,670 And would you have said stuff it if you'd been offered the perfect job? 46 00:03:10,070 --> 00:03:12,310 The Islanders already have a goalie. 47 00:03:14,110 --> 00:03:15,450 Jason, I'm serious. 48 00:03:15,990 --> 00:03:19,810 Maggie, if it meant unemploying my spouse and uprooting my children, yes, 49 00:03:19,810 --> 00:03:23,030 course, I'd have to say no. Well, obviously, I'm turning it down. 50 00:03:23,810 --> 00:03:27,230 But you could have at least let me revel in the fantasy for a minute before 51 00:03:27,230 --> 00:03:28,670 tightening down the guilt screws. 52 00:03:29,330 --> 00:03:30,330 I'm sorry. 53 00:03:30,970 --> 00:03:31,970 Let's revel. 54 00:03:33,109 --> 00:03:34,550 Now I don't feel like it. 55 00:03:34,910 --> 00:03:37,630 Come on, Maggie, please. I'm begging for details now. 56 00:03:38,030 --> 00:03:39,410 Well, it is kind of impressive. 57 00:03:40,510 --> 00:03:43,030 I would have had a staff of 20 people. Whoa. 58 00:03:43,410 --> 00:03:47,430 I would have been testifying before Congress and lobbying for consumer 59 00:03:48,190 --> 00:03:49,190 You in Congress? 60 00:03:49,390 --> 00:03:52,410 Yes, I would have had a major voice in shaping legislation. 61 00:03:52,870 --> 00:03:56,230 I would have actually had more to say in the running of this government than 62 00:03:56,230 --> 00:03:58,050 Marilyn Quayle. 63 00:04:01,870 --> 00:04:03,430 I had no idea it was this big. 64 00:04:03,650 --> 00:04:07,710 Oh, honey, it's the perfect blend of journalism and rights advocacy. It's 65 00:04:07,710 --> 00:04:11,210 everything I've ever wanted in a... job. 66 00:04:13,470 --> 00:04:17,529 Oh, boy, I just realized the longer I put off turning this down, the sadder 67 00:04:17,529 --> 00:04:19,370 be. I'm going to call the senator right now. 68 00:04:23,510 --> 00:04:27,510 Maggie, you can't turn this job down. Now you revel. No, honey, I'm serious. 69 00:04:27,510 --> 00:04:28,510 deadly serious. 70 00:04:29,280 --> 00:04:31,160 This job's just too good for you to refuse. 71 00:04:32,320 --> 00:04:33,380 Jason, this is nuts. 72 00:04:33,620 --> 00:04:36,700 Oh, wait a minute. We've been taking care of the kids all these years. 73 00:04:36,700 --> 00:04:39,060 we always said we needed to do something for ourselves? 74 00:04:39,520 --> 00:04:42,260 Oh, I always assumed you meant his and her massages at Mr. 75 00:04:42,580 --> 00:04:43,580 Steve's. 76 00:04:45,320 --> 00:04:46,640 Maggie, think about this. 77 00:04:48,760 --> 00:04:50,220 Jason, what about your practice? 78 00:04:50,640 --> 00:04:54,040 Well, I've wanted to do some clinical work. There are great clinics in 79 00:04:54,040 --> 00:04:55,040 Washington. 80 00:04:55,400 --> 00:04:58,280 Maggie, maybe it's time that I shook my life up a little bit, too. 81 00:04:58,680 --> 00:05:00,700 But what about yanking the kids out of school? 82 00:05:00,980 --> 00:05:01,939 Carol's an adult. 83 00:05:01,940 --> 00:05:03,740 Mike's over 21. 84 00:05:06,120 --> 00:05:08,820 What about Ben and Chrissy? Honey, they're cute. 85 00:05:09,440 --> 00:05:10,720 Somebody will take them in. 86 00:05:13,520 --> 00:05:16,500 Honey, this could be a great opportunity for them. 87 00:05:16,880 --> 00:05:20,840 You mean just pick up and move? Well, we'll discuss it with the whole family. 88 00:05:21,600 --> 00:05:22,600 Oh, Jesus. 89 00:05:24,910 --> 00:05:26,510 I just thought of another fringe benefit. 90 00:05:26,850 --> 00:05:29,810 What? If you get on Good Morning America, I could meet June London. 91 00:05:35,210 --> 00:05:38,550 What is the Seavers Summit anyway? 92 00:05:39,490 --> 00:05:42,670 Well, it's a super -duper important family meeting. 93 00:05:43,210 --> 00:05:47,270 Presumably important enough to make us miss Crossfire with Poppy Cannon and Pee 94 00:05:47,270 --> 00:05:48,270 Wee Herman. 95 00:05:49,230 --> 00:05:51,910 So important that we've only had two in my lifetime. 96 00:05:52,380 --> 00:05:54,220 The last one was to tell us you were going to be born. 97 00:05:54,720 --> 00:05:58,200 Yeah, and the other one was when you got caught singing, I'm looking under a two 98 00:05:58,200 --> 00:05:59,440 -legged wonder during nap time. 99 00:06:01,980 --> 00:06:03,940 All right, glad you're all here. 100 00:06:04,160 --> 00:06:05,940 This better be good. Oh, it is. 101 00:06:06,260 --> 00:06:08,780 At least we hope you all think it is. 102 00:06:09,180 --> 00:06:11,040 Oh, my God, she's going to have another baby. 103 00:06:11,380 --> 00:06:12,580 No, no. 104 00:06:13,620 --> 00:06:17,140 But your mom does have some exciting news she'd like to share with you. 105 00:06:17,420 --> 00:06:18,920 We're finally getting a dog? 106 00:06:19,520 --> 00:06:20,520 No. 107 00:06:21,390 --> 00:06:22,289 We're moving. 108 00:06:22,290 --> 00:06:24,370 For what? No way. No kidding. 109 00:06:24,650 --> 00:06:25,650 No, Doug. 110 00:06:26,410 --> 00:06:30,550 I mean, we might move. That is, if you all... Meg, you want to just back up and 111 00:06:30,550 --> 00:06:31,550 start at page one? 112 00:06:32,290 --> 00:06:33,290 Everybody sit down. 113 00:06:34,850 --> 00:06:38,210 You all know that I've been doing a series of interviews with Senator 114 00:06:38,590 --> 00:06:40,550 Isn't he that guy who wore pearls on Nightline? 115 00:06:42,730 --> 00:06:44,470 Senator Howard is a woman. 116 00:06:44,810 --> 00:06:45,810 Get out of town. 117 00:06:47,720 --> 00:06:52,200 And yesterday, she offered me a job as executive director of media relations. 118 00:06:52,760 --> 00:06:54,960 Oh, that's great. Well, that's good. 119 00:06:55,240 --> 00:07:00,480 If I take the job, that means moving the family to Washington, D .C. 120 00:07:00,700 --> 00:07:01,700 Too bad. 121 00:07:01,940 --> 00:07:04,420 Sounded like a great gig. Well, I'm off to thinkies. 122 00:07:04,880 --> 00:07:08,300 The fever summit is far from over. 123 00:07:09,320 --> 00:07:11,220 She's your woman, Dad. You straighten her out. 124 00:07:14,060 --> 00:07:15,660 Sit or pay rent. 125 00:07:19,210 --> 00:07:20,390 What's going on here? 126 00:07:21,030 --> 00:07:25,350 Well, honey, Mommy is thinking about getting a new job. 127 00:07:25,870 --> 00:07:27,890 You're not going to be my mommy anymore? 128 00:07:29,090 --> 00:07:34,250 No, sweetheart, I will always be your mommy. But we are thinking about moving 129 00:07:34,250 --> 00:07:37,250 a wonderful place called Washington, D .C. 130 00:07:37,770 --> 00:07:44,610 Murder capital of the U .S .A.? That's what I heard on hard copy. 131 00:07:46,190 --> 00:07:49,010 Well, obviously, we have a lot of questions to ask, a lot of things to 132 00:07:49,010 --> 00:07:50,150 about over the next couple of days. 133 00:07:50,770 --> 00:07:54,590 Oh, boy, it means a lot more boring chit -chat until Mom finally comes to her 134 00:07:54,590 --> 00:07:59,150 senses. Mike. Mike, I really don't appreciate your cavalier attitude 135 00:07:59,150 --> 00:08:00,150 Mom's career. 136 00:08:00,410 --> 00:08:02,870 Yeah, well, that's the difference between you and me. 137 00:08:03,190 --> 00:08:05,250 Yeah, I know what cavalier means. 138 00:08:09,490 --> 00:08:12,530 Carol, why does Mommy want a new job? 139 00:08:13,230 --> 00:08:14,750 Because it's a great opportunity. 140 00:08:15,290 --> 00:08:16,290 Why? 141 00:08:16,550 --> 00:08:19,570 Well, she'll have the kind of job that most women only dream of. 142 00:08:19,790 --> 00:08:20,790 Why? 143 00:08:21,350 --> 00:08:25,930 Chrissy, I'm going to speak to you not as a sister, but as a sister. 144 00:08:26,710 --> 00:08:27,710 Okay. 145 00:08:28,730 --> 00:08:33,750 Now, as you may have noticed, we live in a male -dominated society wherein women 146 00:08:33,750 --> 00:08:39,630 are mere chattel. Our mother, our sister, has the rare opportunity to 147 00:08:39,630 --> 00:08:41,970 the yoke of male oppression. Are you with me so far? 148 00:08:43,150 --> 00:08:45,650 Did you know your nostrils move when you say the letter M? 149 00:08:47,370 --> 00:08:51,470 I'm sorry, Christy. I think I was speaking over your head. It's okay. When 150 00:08:51,470 --> 00:08:54,470 drive to Washington, you can explain how Mommy's my future. 151 00:08:55,830 --> 00:08:58,910 Oh, sweetheart, if we move to Washington, I'm not going. 152 00:08:59,170 --> 00:09:00,170 You're not? 153 00:09:00,290 --> 00:09:02,650 No, I'm going to stay at Columbia and live in the dorm. 154 00:09:02,850 --> 00:09:04,690 And that way I can be closer to Dwight. 155 00:09:04,930 --> 00:09:06,330 And you're happy about that? 156 00:09:07,710 --> 00:09:09,190 Well, of course I am. 157 00:09:09,410 --> 00:09:11,330 That means I'll never see you again. 158 00:09:11,910 --> 00:09:16,110 Well, sure you will. We're family, and family stays in touch. It's the law. 159 00:09:16,410 --> 00:09:17,209 It is? 160 00:09:17,210 --> 00:09:17,889 Mm -hmm. 161 00:09:17,890 --> 00:09:21,030 I'm going to be visiting so much, you're going to get tired of looking at this 162 00:09:21,030 --> 00:09:23,630 face. Oh, the way Ben and Mike do. 163 00:09:24,710 --> 00:09:26,970 No, not the way Ben and Mike do. 164 00:09:27,830 --> 00:09:30,370 But no matter what, we'll always be close. 165 00:09:30,770 --> 00:09:31,770 I think we swear. 166 00:09:32,730 --> 00:09:33,730 Hugs swear. 167 00:09:33,990 --> 00:09:34,990 I love you. 168 00:09:35,090 --> 00:09:36,090 I love you. 169 00:09:39,300 --> 00:09:40,960 Carol, that was really sweet. 170 00:09:41,440 --> 00:09:45,480 Mom, snap out of it. I was talking to a kid. The truth would have warped her. 171 00:09:49,160 --> 00:09:50,160 The truth? 172 00:09:50,760 --> 00:09:53,300 Oh, sure, we'll see a lot of each other in the beginning. 173 00:09:53,880 --> 00:09:56,980 But before long, it'll just be Thanksgiving and Christmas. 174 00:09:57,380 --> 00:10:01,260 And before you know it, our spouses won't want to come over on the holidays. 175 00:10:01,260 --> 00:10:05,060 before long, we'll be faxing valentines and sending cards that say, sorry, I 176 00:10:05,060 --> 00:10:06,060 forgot your birthday. 177 00:10:06,810 --> 00:10:08,990 Carol, our birthdays are in the same month. 178 00:10:09,770 --> 00:10:12,110 Which only makes it all the more tragic. 179 00:10:13,710 --> 00:10:16,510 Well, we really won't have as much time to spend together. 180 00:10:18,850 --> 00:10:20,910 Now it's your turn to share a secret. 181 00:10:21,110 --> 00:10:21,649 All right. 182 00:10:21,650 --> 00:10:25,350 Remember the Saturday night last month when Debbie Shelley and I went to the 183 00:10:25,350 --> 00:10:28,330 library and then we spent the night at Debbie's house? 184 00:10:29,110 --> 00:10:30,110 Yeah. 185 00:10:30,550 --> 00:10:32,670 Well, we didn't study at all. 186 00:10:33,910 --> 00:10:35,570 Yeah, instead... 187 00:10:36,810 --> 00:10:41,110 We took the train into Manhattan and went to this really neat dance club in 188 00:10:41,110 --> 00:10:42,110 Soho. 189 00:10:42,310 --> 00:10:43,310 Yeah? 190 00:10:43,790 --> 00:10:46,310 And you had to be 21 to get into this place. 191 00:10:46,590 --> 00:10:48,530 Debbie and Shelby were about to give up. 192 00:10:49,790 --> 00:10:51,550 But I was so cool. 193 00:10:52,710 --> 00:10:54,450 I greased the doorman. 194 00:10:57,650 --> 00:11:03,590 Greased? I slipped him $20 to let us in. I mean, is that neat or what? 195 00:11:04,150 --> 00:11:05,590 It was so great. 196 00:11:06,200 --> 00:11:11,080 We danced till four in the morning with these guys who didn't even speak 197 00:11:11,080 --> 00:11:12,080 English. 198 00:11:12,560 --> 00:11:17,220 And then we took the train back and snuck into her room and went down to 199 00:11:17,220 --> 00:11:19,520 before her parents ever woke up. 200 00:11:20,860 --> 00:11:25,340 And to this day, no one is any the wiser. 201 00:11:29,140 --> 00:11:31,280 I'm going to miss our heart -to -heart talks. 202 00:11:32,330 --> 00:11:35,790 Oh, Carol, maybe I'm crazy to even consider moving the family. 203 00:11:36,370 --> 00:11:41,090 Oh, come on, Mom, I admire you. I mean, there are very few women who are willing 204 00:11:41,090 --> 00:11:43,990 to deny their family's needs and think only of themselves. 205 00:11:48,470 --> 00:11:53,570 Oh, Jason, the more I think about this move, the more I question whether taking 206 00:11:53,570 --> 00:11:54,670 this job is right. 207 00:11:55,190 --> 00:11:56,410 Of course it is. 208 00:11:57,390 --> 00:12:00,090 Well, how can you say that when we'll be upsetting our children's lives? 209 00:12:00,370 --> 00:12:01,710 Our children love to be upset. 210 00:12:02,430 --> 00:12:03,810 It's about time we got even. 211 00:12:04,850 --> 00:12:08,530 I don't mean to make light of this, Maggie. It's just that change is good 212 00:12:08,530 --> 00:12:10,230 people. Makes them stronger. 213 00:12:10,890 --> 00:12:12,550 Or scars them for life. 214 00:12:13,350 --> 00:12:16,270 Remember the time I rearranged the living room furniture? 215 00:12:17,370 --> 00:12:19,230 Ben had nightmares for a week. 216 00:12:19,510 --> 00:12:21,250 Not to mention black and blue legs. 217 00:12:22,550 --> 00:12:24,630 Kids have been uprooted before, Maggie. 218 00:12:25,630 --> 00:12:30,190 Remember that weekend we all had to spend in Mike's? I can't sleep on this 219 00:12:30,190 --> 00:12:33,550 floor. Things are crawling on me. Oh, I'm sorry, honey. 220 00:12:34,030 --> 00:12:35,030 Climb in. 221 00:12:35,110 --> 00:12:36,110 Wait a second. 222 00:12:36,130 --> 00:12:40,610 The snowfall gets the bed and I have to suffer on the floor? I get it. Hey, wait 223 00:12:40,610 --> 00:12:44,350 a minute. We're a whole time out. I'm the one who owns the bed and you guys 224 00:12:44,350 --> 00:12:47,290 going to sleep in it? I'm supposed to sleep on the floor? No way. Make room. 225 00:12:59,660 --> 00:13:03,180 this many people in this bed. I had twice as many people in this baby. 226 00:13:06,940 --> 00:13:08,540 Don't worry, they were all guys. 227 00:13:11,160 --> 00:13:12,160 No. 228 00:13:15,900 --> 00:13:18,720 Wait a minute. We're not wetting the bed. The bed's wetting us. 229 00:13:18,960 --> 00:13:19,960 What? 230 00:14:08,080 --> 00:14:11,880 don't you dare turn this job down unless you have a real good reason. 231 00:14:12,500 --> 00:14:13,820 It is a great job. 232 00:14:14,540 --> 00:14:18,680 Trust me, the kids are going to be just fine once they get used to the idea of 233 00:14:18,680 --> 00:14:19,680 moving. 234 00:14:21,240 --> 00:14:22,240 Come in. 235 00:14:23,220 --> 00:14:25,200 Um, guys, I just wanted to say goodnight. 236 00:14:25,680 --> 00:14:30,580 Oh, um, by the way, you guys can go on ahead to Washington, but I'm not going. 237 00:14:41,220 --> 00:14:42,760 Sweetheart, can we talk about this? 238 00:14:42,960 --> 00:14:43,739 Why bother? 239 00:14:43,740 --> 00:14:45,300 I mean, you're not going to listen to me anyway. 240 00:14:46,240 --> 00:14:49,180 Benjamin Hubert Horatio Humphrey Seaver. 241 00:14:51,120 --> 00:14:52,180 That's not fair. 242 00:14:52,860 --> 00:14:55,280 If life was fair, my middle name would be Bill. 243 00:14:56,940 --> 00:14:58,140 I hate this. 244 00:14:58,500 --> 00:15:00,780 I mean, Mike and Carol get to decide what they want. 245 00:15:01,060 --> 00:15:02,980 You guys treat me like I'm a little baby. 246 00:15:03,260 --> 00:15:04,260 We do not. 247 00:15:04,360 --> 00:15:05,720 You do too, do too, do too. 248 00:15:05,980 --> 00:15:08,400 Let me do this. You're going to hurt yourself. 249 00:15:10,280 --> 00:15:12,200 Would you cut it into four little soldiers for me? 250 00:15:12,800 --> 00:15:16,900 Come on, Ben, I know you're upset, but can we please look at this rationally? 251 00:15:17,940 --> 00:15:19,340 Okay, I'll be rational. 252 00:15:19,920 --> 00:15:23,860 You've hired a private detective to follow me around school, and now he's 253 00:15:23,860 --> 00:15:26,480 you that I finally shed my last vestiges of geekosity. 254 00:15:26,800 --> 00:15:30,820 And now you've decided to smash my life into little pieces with the help of a 255 00:15:30,820 --> 00:15:32,760 woman senator who looks like Joe Pesci. 256 00:15:33,580 --> 00:15:36,000 Come on, honey, don't get carried away. 257 00:15:36,460 --> 00:15:38,000 Me? I never get carried away. 258 00:15:38,320 --> 00:15:39,320 What? 259 00:15:40,810 --> 00:15:44,970 I think that if he was married before, that probably means he had another wife. 260 00:15:46,050 --> 00:15:47,050 Oh, no. 261 00:15:48,010 --> 00:15:51,510 And I wouldn't be a bit surprised if they're living somewhere on Long Island. 262 00:15:53,510 --> 00:15:56,490 Yeah, Dad wouldn't want to live far away from his kids. 263 00:15:56,890 --> 00:15:57,890 What kids? 264 00:15:58,230 --> 00:16:01,150 The ones he goes and visits when he thinks he's going to get a haircut. 265 00:16:03,090 --> 00:16:04,770 Ben. I got it. 266 00:16:05,590 --> 00:16:09,050 Dad's other wife cuts his hair while he plays with his other kids. 267 00:16:13,520 --> 00:16:14,760 I bet right on this street. 268 00:16:15,500 --> 00:16:17,560 Maybe they come over here when we're at school. 269 00:16:18,760 --> 00:16:19,980 And wear our clothes. 270 00:16:21,200 --> 00:16:22,560 And play with our stuff. 271 00:16:24,020 --> 00:16:26,120 That's why my room gets so messed up. 272 00:16:28,460 --> 00:16:29,540 All right, all right. 273 00:16:29,860 --> 00:16:31,820 I almost never get carried away. 274 00:16:33,940 --> 00:16:37,000 Look, Mom, can't you wait and find a great job until after I'm out of high 275 00:16:37,000 --> 00:16:42,410 school? Oh, sweetheart, I wish I could, but this is a once -in -a -lifetime 276 00:16:42,410 --> 00:16:47,190 chance. Now, I know how you feel. This is going to be a big change for all of 277 00:16:47,190 --> 00:16:48,870 us. I'm worried, too. 278 00:16:50,110 --> 00:16:51,670 About half as much as I am. 279 00:16:55,630 --> 00:16:57,170 You've always been there for me. 280 00:16:58,830 --> 00:17:01,690 And I know this has been a big change for all of us. 281 00:17:02,170 --> 00:17:06,510 And I worry about not being here for you because, well, you're the youngest. 282 00:17:07,690 --> 00:17:11,349 And I worry about not being here for Carol because she's a girl and she needs 283 00:17:11,349 --> 00:17:12,349 her mother. 284 00:17:12,750 --> 00:17:16,410 And I worry about not being here for Mike to keep him from accidentally 285 00:17:16,410 --> 00:17:17,410 something up. 286 00:17:18,470 --> 00:17:22,089 And believe me, I worry about leaving your father here to cope with all you 287 00:17:22,089 --> 00:17:23,089 monsters. 288 00:17:24,150 --> 00:17:25,930 You shouldn't worry so much, Mom. 289 00:17:26,150 --> 00:17:27,630 You'll make yourself crazy. 290 00:17:29,610 --> 00:17:31,970 I love you, little pumpkin head. 291 00:17:34,070 --> 00:17:35,690 Oh, pumpkin head. 292 00:17:39,610 --> 00:17:40,610 Hey, Ben. 293 00:17:40,910 --> 00:17:42,570 Can I borrow ten bucks? 294 00:17:43,130 --> 00:17:44,130 Help yourself. 295 00:17:44,570 --> 00:17:46,790 Top drawer rolled up inside my Wayne's World underwear. 296 00:17:48,730 --> 00:17:50,130 Hello. Earth to Ben. 297 00:17:50,450 --> 00:17:52,730 How many times have I told you? You never lend money to family. 298 00:17:54,930 --> 00:17:56,310 Boy, Mom's right. You are depressed. 299 00:17:57,450 --> 00:17:58,450 Not anymore. 300 00:17:58,870 --> 00:18:01,610 I'm just going to ask Dinky's parents if I can stay with them until I finish 301 00:18:01,610 --> 00:18:02,309 high school. 302 00:18:02,310 --> 00:18:05,210 Ben, I don't think you want to stay with the people who made Dinky. 303 00:18:06,030 --> 00:18:08,210 Fine. Then I'll sleep in the school library. 304 00:18:08,910 --> 00:18:10,730 I'm sure they still have your cot set up. 305 00:18:11,030 --> 00:18:16,070 Betty, come on. Do I look upset at the prospect of being tossed out of my cushy 306 00:18:16,070 --> 00:18:17,070 little bachelor pad? 307 00:18:17,210 --> 00:18:18,830 No. And you know why? 308 00:18:19,550 --> 00:18:20,850 Not gonna happen. 309 00:18:22,670 --> 00:18:23,670 What? 310 00:18:23,890 --> 00:18:28,930 Ben, come on. Mom is just going through some post -nasal midlife crisis. 311 00:18:30,110 --> 00:18:32,630 I mean, she just wants to think about change. 312 00:18:33,490 --> 00:18:34,790 Mike, grow a beard. 313 00:18:35,930 --> 00:18:37,990 Mom wouldn't pull our chains for nothing. 314 00:18:38,620 --> 00:18:41,800 Okay, all right, well, let's just say in a million -to -one shot, she actually 315 00:18:41,800 --> 00:18:44,900 goes through with this whole job change, and you move to Washington. 316 00:18:45,440 --> 00:18:49,380 I know you think Washington is probably filled with sleazy crooks and con 317 00:18:49,380 --> 00:18:51,320 artists, but relax. 318 00:18:51,600 --> 00:18:52,600 There's room for one more. 319 00:18:53,420 --> 00:18:54,660 Like, leave my room. 320 00:18:55,040 --> 00:18:58,840 Betty, look, we would be talking about a whole new school who knows absolutely 321 00:18:58,840 --> 00:19:01,660 nothing about the surefire Seaver scandal. 322 00:19:03,880 --> 00:19:05,500 Yeah, I don't know. 323 00:19:05,900 --> 00:19:08,280 Look, Benny, if they were really going to drag you all the way to Washington, 324 00:19:08,480 --> 00:19:11,460 they'd have already tried to bribe you with a car or something. 325 00:19:12,300 --> 00:19:13,300 A car? 326 00:19:13,520 --> 00:19:15,060 What would I do with a car? 327 00:19:15,300 --> 00:19:19,820 Now, remember, when I say now, you pop the clutch. Like I said before, I got 328 00:19:19,920 --> 00:19:21,440 That was then. This is now. 329 00:19:24,940 --> 00:19:26,520 The brake, Benny, the brake. 330 00:19:27,040 --> 00:19:28,640 He doesn't need either one of us now. 331 00:19:44,940 --> 00:19:45,940 This is fun. 332 00:19:46,320 --> 00:19:48,600 But I'm not going to be 18 for another three years. 333 00:19:48,840 --> 00:19:52,820 Yeah, but in six months, you'll be 16. And that's the legal driving age in D 334 00:19:54,960 --> 00:19:57,580 Well, I rounded up all the kids, Miss Capitol Hill. 335 00:19:58,540 --> 00:20:01,600 Kids say the house is assembled and they're awaiting your State of the Union 336 00:20:01,600 --> 00:20:02,600 address. 337 00:20:02,820 --> 00:20:06,400 Jason, these Washington puns are starting to get on my nerves. Would you 338 00:20:06,400 --> 00:20:08,120 stop? Whatever you say, dear. 339 00:20:08,920 --> 00:20:09,920 Hail to the chief. 340 00:20:11,700 --> 00:20:13,920 No, it's a little bit dorky, but... 341 00:20:14,330 --> 00:20:16,010 I'm excited about you taking this job. 342 00:20:16,310 --> 00:20:20,250 Oh, honey, I've thought a lot about this, and Ben's never going to warm up 343 00:20:20,250 --> 00:20:23,490 this move. I just don't think I can go through with it. 344 00:20:25,130 --> 00:20:26,610 Honey, there's a chance of a lifetime. 345 00:20:26,810 --> 00:20:30,170 This thing means a lot to you. Well, it does, or it did. 346 00:20:30,970 --> 00:20:34,770 Look, look, Ben's going to be in college in three years. I'll call Senator 347 00:20:34,770 --> 00:20:35,770 Howard then. 348 00:20:36,070 --> 00:20:38,390 Well, the petition just may be filled by then, Maggie. 349 00:20:39,060 --> 00:20:42,280 Or maybe Chrissy won't want you to move to Washington. By the time you finally 350 00:20:42,280 --> 00:20:44,740 decide to follow your dream, Maggie, it's going to be time to retire. 351 00:20:45,060 --> 00:20:49,560 Honey, you told me that I shouldn't pass up on this opportunity unless I had a 352 00:20:49,560 --> 00:20:50,560 heck of a reason. 353 00:20:51,240 --> 00:20:55,020 Well, I just think that hurting one of my kids is reason enough. 354 00:20:57,320 --> 00:20:58,320 All right. 355 00:20:59,440 --> 00:21:01,060 That's your decision. I support it. 356 00:21:07,500 --> 00:21:08,640 Um, I've got to talk to you. 357 00:21:09,020 --> 00:21:12,900 Uh, before you make your decision, um, I think you should hear how I really 358 00:21:12,900 --> 00:21:13,900 feel. 359 00:21:15,360 --> 00:21:16,680 Carol. What are you doing? 360 00:21:17,120 --> 00:21:20,520 Seeing if this will fit in my dorm room. I'm sure Mom will give it to me if I 361 00:21:20,520 --> 00:21:21,640 make her feel guilty enough. 362 00:21:22,080 --> 00:21:23,560 Carol, Mom is not going anywhere. 363 00:21:24,180 --> 00:21:27,960 Mike, there is no way she could pass up a job like this. Carol, I'm telling you, 364 00:21:27,980 --> 00:21:29,220 not going to happen. 365 00:21:30,820 --> 00:21:32,860 Okay, everyone, I've made my decision. 366 00:21:34,360 --> 00:21:35,860 I'm taking the job in Washington. 367 00:21:36,260 --> 00:21:37,260 You are? 368 00:21:37,680 --> 00:21:38,780 And I'm getting a car. 369 00:21:39,100 --> 00:21:40,100 You are?